Hurriedly typed questions

DILG Usec Marius Corpus said at noontime today that Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay is considered to have received the preventive suspension order last night, therefore he is considered preventively suspended.

This would have been a feast for a “kulit” person. Certain questions that were never asked:

First unasked question: So…who’s the mayor now?

Probable answer: “well, under the law, it should be the vice mayor..”

2^nd unasked question: So… is the vice mayor, the mayor now?

Probable answer: “well, it’s a Saturday-Sunday period, there’s no office.”

3^rd unasked question: So…you administered the oath to the vice mayor to be acting mayor?

Probable answer: “not really”.

4^th unasked question: is that a yes or a no?

Probable answer: “it’s Saturday, ang kulit mo! (you’re too snoopy!)”

5^th unasked question: So…the answer to the first question is, there’s no mayor now?

Probable answer: “Saturday nga eh.”

6^th unasked question: So…if there’s a bomb threat at the mall and a stampede, there’s no mayor? Or if there’s a fire in a building in Makati, it’s okay? Or if there’s a rally and they allege a permit and there’s scuffling….”

Probable answer: “the chances of that happening is one in a million…”

7^th unasked question: so, there’s no mayor now?

Probable answer: “ang kulit mo, ibaba ko na ‘tong telepono. (you’re unstoppable, I’ll put down the phone)”

8^th unasked question: but maybe that’s because…. you haven’t answered the question….

Probable answer: Next question please.

9^th unasked question: Did you have a “gentleman’s agreement with the other party last night that you would serve the preventive suspension order, that’s why you never administered any oath on anyone to be the mayor?

Probable answer: Next question.

10^th unasked question: The reporters of Inquirer and ANC reported that, that was the agreement, and they were there so…

Probable answer: “they’re mistaken…”

11^th unasked: They were there…..

Probable answer: “They’re mistaken; I’m not authorized to enter into any such agreement…”

12^th: Is that what your superiors told you when you reported to them what happened, that you weren’t authorized to defer service?

Probable answer: I did my job and I made the personal service.

13^th unasked question: And did Mayor Binay sign any of your file copies as “received”?

(I don’t have a probable answer here, I wasn’t there and don’t know if the mayor signed anything.)

14^th unasked question: So…what happens on Monday morning, 8am? Who’s going to sit at the mayor’s office and sign pending permits, applications, vouchers, payrolls, etc.

Probable answer: We’ll just administer the oath.

15^th unasked question: what if you can’t find the vice mayor.

Probable answer: we’ll find him, otherwise we’ll charge him with refusal to assume office.

16^th unasked question: creating a vacuum in the mayor’s office, you didn’t commit that?

Probable answer: Saturday nga eh!

And that’s your material, boys and girls. You’re welcoms, dumdums.

And my profound, earthshaking questions: WILL JP RIZAL BE CLOSED MONDAY MORNING? WHAT ABOUT MAKATI AV? WHAT ABOUT AYALA? HOW DO LAWYERS FILE MOTIONS? (o sige, registered mail na lang, there’s a good excuse for it) WHERE WILL PEOPLE GET CEDULAS? CAN WE USE THE SIDESTREETS? CAN WE USE THE SECRET ELEVATOR?

(and that’s additional material for you, dumdums).

Hafta go! no photos today just notes, no time.